hopes

I think we all need a little dance and a little rhythm.

I think there should be music everywhere we go.

there should be lovers hugging and kissing in the supermarkets and parks

there should be trees with faces and voices

or humans with ears that can hear the tree language

there should be beasts with wings that take you soaring into the night

that smell like Jasmine and with fur like dandelion fluff,

and who bring you to all the best places for dancing.

there should be people with healing powers

there should be houses in hills

there should be no such thing as money,

people should trade each other's art, for the things they need..

and

and..

I don't know just something new?

I feel like I'm balancing on a tight rope. I have this steady stream of energy in my life, and if it splits, I'm all out of sorts. but I'm learning that life is always like balancing on a tight rope, and falling off. but there is never any ground to fall on; just more tight ropes.

I'm going to find me a dance class..

Harry Potter

If you ask I'll likely say, not until I'm at least 30. I do love children but I also value my own childhood and want to keep it as long as i possibly can, or at least till i can pass it on to my young.

This rain is subsiding, I see the clouds separating outside my window. This is what it would be like. I can't say that I hate the rain, or that it effects me in a way to change my mood, although on certain occasions it's nice to have the sunshine. ..Id be fine anywhere.

I'm also fine right here.

buying books for school makes me feel like I'm Harry Potter and that excites me.

By the looks of it, I will be writing quite a bit, and learning about culture and sociology. I remember a few comments Josh made while taking this English class last semester, and it sounds fun to mee..!

I've just got to look at school as fun.

even though it used to be hell for me and most of the people I know, but I know best who it was hell for and that's me. I was in what you'd call Title One, in a small room with a woman who showed me index cards with words phrases and grammar. Then once 9th grade hit I never heard from them and just decided that it probably meant I didn't need the help anymore. It would have been nice to hear it from them..

anyway! its dark all of the sudden and the computer screen is hurting my eyes, so I'm going to go read my book, then fall asleep and try to dream of Josh.

(we want to have the same dreams)

waves

It's nice to read a book that is just what you need; that runs almost right with my life, just some minor differences. maybe it's more connecting to how I feel in my life sometimes, with the main character. or maybe the author.. because in every book of hers, I feel so connected, so understood.

yet we've never met.

I get so inspired by so many different kinds of artists, that I don't know what to do with my own artwork.. this artist who did the sketch above has a painting on the cover of the book I'm reading, Quakeland by Francesca Lia Block. her name is Irene Hardwick Olivieri. There is so much life in her paintings! i like the words, and how one painting tells a story of where shes been what she feels where she wants to go, and so on. she is always moving, but she hates packing. she says that she paints pieces of furniture as shes packing them.

FLB reminds me that being a woman is a beautiful thing, over all the waves and confusion in the body and the complete opposite waves that men have.. the things i feel the things i hope, and that i can do.. I'd never want it any other way. This is who i am .

English Composition on Mondays and Sociology on Wednesdays this fall!

Im excited to go back to school im going to work very hard!!

popcorn flavored jelly beans

I've always wondered about the house down the street from me, the one I used to think was abandoned until I saw a light in the upstairs window. The front yard is covered with junk... not like a yard sale, but like someone just left it outside because there wasn't any room for it in their life anymore.

Every day I drive by and almost crash as i try to get a quick look at whats there. A big wooden painting of the Mad Hatter from Alice in Wonderland, some old lamps, and a manikin woman who is only there once in a while... Sometimes i see the man who lives there, and I wonder if he lives alone.. or if he has any family elsewhere, or if he knows magic. someday I'll ride my bike over there and find out.

I always think I like cleaning, whitch.. when i get into it i really DO.. but i think deep down I'm lying to myself.
but wait.
if i recall, i did insist on doing the dishes before i puked in the sink, last time i got drunk.
and it calmed me

yesterday i bought a large jar of jelly bellies.
today, i am sitting on the computer and eating them like a fat kid with a fan blowing on me.

and not cleaning.

my favorites are the popcorn flavored ones. out of all the bazillions of flavors, that's the one. its not too sweet.. the rest kind of give me a headache.

i think I've had all the ones i can find.

bum.

i spent 3 hours at Borders today looking for a book on cleaning.
i walked out with a book by my favorite author and an umbrella instead.

its black.

(the umbrella)

and i stood in my driveway with it over my head under the cloudless sky,
because it's the first umbrella I've ever owned. it's very hard to put back in it's pouch.

!!

anyways!

bye.