so i just read my last post and since then i have spent a little money on new clothes with christmas discount cards.. and a new pair of shoes from Material Objects. but i have still managed to stay on track with my savings for my trip next summer.. with money to spare for my car loan, insurence and school payments.

wow no wonder why i feel like i have bricks on my shoulders lately. I have had a really chalenging science class to keep up with that has really difficult lab work (difficult for me), and 2 other classes that also require a good amount of reading/work.

I was just laying on my bedroom floor with a huge head ache thinking about all the stuff i need to do and all the stuff i wish i could be doing instead, like painting and making christmas gifts.. and cleaning. somehow i need to fit 3 seminars in my schedule before the semester ends. i may not pass if i don't and that is so much hard work and money down the drain. what the hell.

i can't be perfect but i worry that if i don't fix things about how i organize my life soon, it might be too late. I usually can't describe what it is that is bo
thering me because i have so many random things in my head. so many things i'd like to be doing at this very moment. so i am never fully engaged in anything, and its confusing.

school has always done this to me.


daylight is leaving. i need to go for a walk before i cry.

home is wherever i'm with you

For the rest of this year and until Autumn next year i will not be buying pretty things or new articles of clothing unless they will benefit me in camping and biking. I am trying to temporarily erase fashion from my mind and just be happy with what i have and to make the most of it. This is going to be kind of hard to do since maintaining my style has always been the fun part of my life. but i will learn to live free of artifice and work with what I've got! right now I'm all about adventure.

Do epic shit.

this is me as a tree on a mountain while trying to be one with nature/not to fall of the edge!^^

I have hiked my first two beautiful mountains this summer, and i can't wait to go for another. screw eating like a skinny french woman, i am going to run around and play and hike and eat as much ice cream as i want. life is too short!

---My race is so soon. Tobie told me there is food after the finish line, so that is a big motivator right there for meee, and hey! Josh is racing now too :) although he will be WAY ahead of me because he is super man.

xo <3

this is what i want.

Now, i'm not much of a small dog kind of person, but i have always wanted a weener dog. And i've always imagine it to wear a christmas sweater.

hopes and dreams and stuff like that..

wierd but SO amazing..

aaaaaaaaaaaah!

"papa, this is MY art!"

today we learned to put the paintbrush in water and stir it around for a second, then to dab the paintbrush on a towel before picking the next color. he likes telling me each step as if he is the one teaching me how to paint. he takes instruction really well, and is SO CREATIVE! i could tell he must like painting in day care. he lit up when i took out our kids art supply box.

i must say, i love the smell of tempera paint. It instantly brings me back to kindergarten art classes when i used to sink my hands into the paint and squish it all over the paper.

My 92 year old nanny just gave me 32 dollars and 50 cents in change.. should i buy gass with it? or should i get something that lasts and makes me happy since it must have taken so much effort to save all that change? hm. ill put in my travel savings.

Josh and i are ajusting to a new schedule with different jobs and not as much time to see each other as we used to. we have sooo much to talk about at the end of the day now. and we are always really excited to see eachother. ( not that we werent before) so not much has really changed! we just don't work together anymore.

i am starting a new line of bag making.. which is all packed in my head right now and i cant wait to poop it all out and start an etsy account. Hopefully its everything im thinking it will be. i got new paints that are perfect and washable on fabrick... and im starting to make my own patterns. wish me luck! july is really slow at work everyone is saying, so i will have a lot of time on my hands to do this!

Abigale

The cutest dog ever visited with some friends for the weekend. I miss having a dog soooo much!

anger.

I am stuck in mud today. actually, for the past week I have been. I am surrounded by clutter right now which always stresses me out, but it takes me forever for me to do anything about it. i cant create anything with clutter everywhere. I really cant even move away from this computer! im such a zombie. maybe a good yoga class or the gym will wake me up and get me un-stuck.

fumes. in my brain.

yay for margarita nights, delicious brownies and 'In the Womb' on the television. I learned how kangaroos give birth. gross. but a miracle at the same time. sharks are so bad ass
ooh man look at Tom with that dish towel..! you do those dishes. Yelena dropped her brownie on the floor. OH NO


my hands have paint on them and now so does my key board. I'm taking a little break from painting my walls. One more coat to goo, its a bitch covering dark purple. It is 10x brighter in my room now thanks to the color white. p.s. the lilacs are in bloom now and when i open my kitchen window, the smell is so intoxicating that it makes me do a little dance.

about the fumes.. there are none because I'm using environmentally friendly paint! it smells like clay, its really cool. I'm just high on life i guess.. or just really tired. tonight has just turned into relaxing bubble bath night.

busy bee

this blog is outwitting the other lately! I have been working on many projects, but haven't had time to finish them quickly.

My newest project: re-doing my bedroom (again.) I am working with a tiny room with a slanted dormer wall, and I've realized lately that the dark purple walls, though it is one of my favorite colors that is so comforting to me, makes my room feel sooo utterly closed in. I'm getting a new bed from the Marriott since they are renovating, for 50 bucks! but the bed, unlike my twin, will take up double the space. so i will use some tricks with illusion that will hopefully make my room seem larger. I do this a lot! but every time i get better ideas. thank GOD I'm taking an interior design class in the fall. I can't wait! This may take me a few weeks. I will post before and after pictures!

My running routine is still going strong! I have grown a big love for the sport and its a great way for me to get outside in the sun and fresh air this time of year. I feel great, i feel much stronger, and healthier. which is the whole reason i wanted to train for this race in the first place! speaking of which, today is one of those days, time to get my running shoes on..

sigh

my goal is to save that 10,000$ I was talking about a couple months ago... that i sort of pooped on and now I'm really serious about. It's easy for me to forget my goals.. and get lost in the mix of things, but after some serious thought i know what i am passionate about. so now i remember my goals. I will find a way. paychecks suck, so I'm going to have to start making things that sell and sell them! save save save. create create create. and finish school.

so i can discover this:

namaste

So it takes a lot of work to find the Internet in Portland at 730 on a Saturday night. I lugged my over sized laptop to the only coffee shop on the east end i could find, right as i handed the girl 3$ for a cup of tea that was supposed to be my ticket to sit down and use their Internet. "we are closing in five minutes, sorry!" long story short, after a walk back to my car and then a hectic time finding parking I have found my corner in Starbucks with the cost of another 3$ for the cost of Internet.


I guess I'm desperate since I haven't been home in almost a week. I have been house sitting for a friend with Josh and her apartment is Internet free! which is totally fine until i start wondering how big my inbox is.

anyway I really enjoy living on the Eastern Promenade. Its just wonderful.. really. I can lay in bed at night and fall asleep to the sound of boat horns and seagulls in the distance. I walk EVERYWHERE (with the exception of tonight because my laptop left a mark on my shoulder from the last walk this afternoon)

Today was one of those sparkling days. the water sparkles, the pavement sparkles, and so does all the people walking by when they smile and say, "hello! beautiful day!!" the View down at the Promenade is so vast and open it almost doesn't seem real. the fort sitting in the middle between the port and the islands looks awkward and dated but its one of the only things that gives Portland its beauty and character. I like places Rich with history like Italy, and Portland Maine has... not nearly enough history but at least it has some beautiful scenery.

I didn't go with josh up to Orono and i kind of wish i had. I can say i love being alone with plump (the cat) she likes me now, she lets me pet her! you just have to get to know how she likes being treated (like any woman does of course! ) I love hanging out with myself. its never lonely. i realized that josh or no josh I'm never alone. even if i were in a deep forest all by myself, there would be the trees. i know this sounds sooo utterly crunchy but in the past 2 days i have had a super hippy revelation.

peace love and joy

may everyone find the most magnificent beauty that they hold in themselves.

help!

I am trying to decide which name i should use for my business. Luna Beamer is my user name for the etsy account i just started, but i need to chose one of the following to get printed on the sew in lables that i'm ordering for my bags! if you wouldn't mind, it would help me so much if you all chose one you liked in a comment!

la luna

luna Beamer

luna Works

la luna works

happy spring!

My lighthouse.

(today was a Josh and Helen kind of day at the fort..)

scrumptious

Ti's almost that time of year in this season that we're in.

lilac time.. in at least a month? maybe a little more..

I can't wait until that smell floods my bedroom!

Draw a crazy picture,

Write a nutty poem,

Sing a mumble-gumble song,

Whistle through your comb.

Do a loony-goony dance

'Cross the kitchen floor,

Put something silly in the world

That ain't been there before.

- Shel silverstein

lets get it started!

I have a LOT to do in the next 2 months. a lot a lot. (Yelena and i are working towards a booth at the Old Port Festival in June.)  I want to get at least 25- 30 bags done/ at least half of those painted, and as much polymer hair clips earrings and light switch plates as i can poop out in the next 75ish days.. but it's really great to have something like this to work towards.

  my sister told me i just need to start trying things if i want my life to start.  She talked me into signing up for the Beach To Beacon 10k race this year, and my brother did as well! we are like a little family of runners. :) I feel great about all this right now, i just need to get my car somehow inspected and registered in the next week.. which should be rough since i need my timing belt changed and all this other stuff done that I've been putting off since December last year. TIME TO CALL them now. or my poor car may die. 

welcome to broadway

yes, we were cats for the day yesterday.. you may have seen us on the news serving couscous to fancy people at the rot. their theme was Broadway, and people were dressed like all sorts of things.

still workin at the Marriott. still doin the same old thing..
but i feel change coming. no, it's not just the sense of spring

i think it might be something even better

so here i am on my day off writing in my online journal because i don't feel like doing anything else!! I just got home from seeing Slum dog Millionaire, i went by myself because josh is working and.. i realised id never gone to the movies alone. It was... lonely! Ha, i probably wont do it again. the movie was great though, a really touching story.

Lately I've been into snowboarding. Josh is a really good teacher, i learned after just two trips to the mountain! now i have dreams about it and stuff. I'm hooked. my sewing machine just sits though, and so does the rest of my art supplies. but that stuff only happens when i get inspired. no inspiration lately.. just thoughts of moving.

and of spring

I'm enjoying this winter, everything is running smooth exept really poopy pay checks which I suppose it doesn't matter since I rarely leave my house anyway. I do miss my dance classes a lot. so I keep myself happy with dancing in my room with paisley. why do I love my rats so much? I guess it could be because they are fuzzy and small with really cute ears, or maybe because they follow me around like ducklings and make nests out of my socks in various corners in my room. no it's deffinetly because they know when i'm coming home and the second I open the door they are always ready to say hello.

-don't get me started on that subject. ever.

or this one for that matter..^